What My Fear-based Decision Taught Me This Week
I'm good at fear-based decisions!
Without really realising it, most of my life decisions have been fear-based. (More about that elsewhere!) I’ve consciously tried to change this, I’ve moved out of my comfort zones in HUGE ways over the last few years, and continue to do so.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle though. I think it’s important to realise that entrepreneurial journeys are a rollercoaster. Sometimes entrepreneurship makes you feel self-employed, and sometimes you feel unemployed!
I’ve managed to pay the bills on the basis of what I’ve been doing over the last year or so since we moved from South Africa to Montenegro (keeping in mind that I now have to work entirely online. So 100% digital nomad). I’m pretty proud of the fact that I’ve managed to create income in various ways in order to pay bills. But for various reasons, I need to shift this, and move into some new areas. Terrifying! Exciting. Terrifying.
My fear-based decision for the month
I do marking for an educational organisation every now and then. They asked in September if I would be available to do some marking in the beginning of October. I enjoy working with them, and I enjoy teaching, I enjoy the subject. BUT, I don’t like marking! It takes forever, the admin is painful, it’s repetitive, and there were over 200 scripts to mark, and it doesn’t pay well, considering the time it takes.
I said no!
I was pretty proud of my decision. Turning down certain work is always risky when you’re building your income-base. And since 2020 has been so challenging globally, there’s a bit of a feeling that you’d be crazy to pass up offers of work. But, I said no! Well done me!
BUT…
Then I fell into the trap of overthinking. Worrying. Would I be able to make my income for the month on my own? Would sales of my courses cover my bills? What if…? And I’m turning certain income down? In 2020, of all years?! CRAZY!
So, I contacted them and said I’d do it if they still needed markers, which they did.
Settled. I had ‘stable’ work for a week. (To be clear, this would only cover about 10% of my monthly income, so it’s not a large portion of my income anyway!). Somehow I felt safer, calmer, and less anxious.
Meanwhile... I'm listening to Mel Robbins
I’m a HUGE Mel Robbins fan. I’ve been listening to her Audible book ‘Take Control of your Life‘ over the past few weeks. I find her advice priceless, and very relevant.
This means that I’m currently very focussed on and interrogating my thinking, decisions and why and how I make choices. (My husband says he sometimes feels like he’s living in a self-help book!), which is why this is so relevant (and somewhat hilarious!) for me right now.
(I feel that I need to clarify that this is not the first time I’ve listened to this Audible book, and I actually pass on some of the advice to the students I coach as well. I CANNOT claim ignorance! Yet I still fell into the trap.)
What happened with my decision?
The week begins…
I started marking at the beginning of the week. It was clearly a ‘safety’ decision, but I wasn’t thrilled about doing it.
I’m also starting to get a feel for what I want to build and work on. Since I’ve been anxious and feeling a little defeated about my own business, I really don’t want to NOT work on it when I’m actually feeling like I have some fight in me and feeling enthusiastic and positive! But, commitments are commitments. My stuff will have to wait.
The week continues…
The marking takes FOREVER. The weather matches my mood. It’s dark, cold and wet. I dread waking up, I have over 200 scripts to mark, and it feels interminable. Obviously, since I CAN’T do anything else, I have LOADS of ideas flooding through my head of things I want to do to build my business. The grumpiness builds.
The week ends…
I finally see the light. It’s taken pretty much the WHOLE week to do this. I’ve lost my sense of humour quite a few times. There’s been a lot of comfort food, grumbling and self-pity. I eventually finish the marking on Friday evening.
Since I’ve been focussing on my decisions, I’m now calculating the hourly rate this is earning me, the opportunity cost, and what I would need to do / sell in my own business to equal the income.
Here's the basic maths
The marking will cover about 10% of my monthly budgeted income.
It’s taken a full WEEK to earn this.
If I equate this to my business, (selling courses etc), I would have needed to sell JUST SIX courses to equal this. My courses are on-demand, which means that once they’re built, they take no time from me. The student buys, works through the course, and it takes NO time from me. All I need to do is focus on sales and marketing.
One FULL week of my grumbling, unhappy time
OR
Six courses at NO hours of my time.
The more I think about it during the week, the more I feel that I’d rather have spent the week doing marketing in the hopes of selling six courses.
How the story ends... (try not to laugh!)
I get an email notification every time someone buys one of my courses. (You can tell what’s coming next, right!?)
Yeah. I open my emails on Saturday evening, and there are a few sales notification emails waiting for me. How many, you ask? How many courses did I sell on Saturday afternoon?
You guessed it. SIX. Exactly SIX courses.
Coincidence? I think not. If that’s not a life lesson, I honestly don’t know what is!
My fear-based decision cost me an entire week (an unhappy one), in order to earn 10% of my monthly income. Which I did in one Saturday afternoon.
Let’s all learn from my lesson, shall we?
Fear-based decisions are NOT smart, generally don’t make us happy, and are generally made because we don’t trust ourselves.
Moral of the story, for myself, and for you:
HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN YOURSELF!
